GEN 3 Daytona CPR Script - Tampa DJ Blog by DJ Frontier

GEN 3 DAYTONA CPR SCRIPT

NOTE: This is the original script for the Daytona Cassette Program Release (CPR) written in 1996 and 1997. Obviously, although most of this, including the date setting, will be retained, we have to do an updated draft for the GEN 5 Daytona Digital Program Release (DPR) planned in 2011. The original Daytona was formatted for a 90 minute audio cassette. The updated version would be expanded, and would be formatted for a 140 minute MP3 format. Progress is great! For a general idea of what the program will play out like, read this earlier version. Daytona, of course, would follow Waveform RMX, and, in turn, would be followed by Waveform 4, Sandbar, Mako, and Hammerhead. Enjoy!

- DJ Frontier

GEOMEDIA PRODUCTIONS PROUDLY PRESENTS

AES'S 34TH CASSETTE PROGRAM RELEASE

DAYTONA

A RELEASE BY OMEGA TEAM

FEATURING:

() WASHOUT (C. A. PASSINAULT)

THE ORIGINAL BEACH WATCHER RETURNS FROM "WAVEFORM 3", WITH

AN ALL NEW SEQUEL. WASHOUT IS ON A QUEST; TO SCORE THE

ULTIMATE SPRING BREAK. OUR HERO LEAVES HIS G' FRIEND HOME, THE

ULTRA COOL SEAPONY, AND TEAMS UP WITH HIS BEST FRIEND TOBEY.

TOGETHER, THEY HEAD OUT TO DAYTONA BEACH FOR AN ADVENTURE

THAT IS ABOUT TO BECOME LEGEND.

() TOBEY (DAVID BAKER)

THE UNOFFICIAL "MASCOT" OF THE ALPHA BETA DELTA FRATERNITY,

TOBEY IS A MASS COMMUNICATIONS MAJOR AT TAMPA BAY'S USF

CAMPUS. TOBEY IS ARMED WITH A STACK OF FAKE BUSINESS CARDS

AND A HI-8 CAMCORDER, AND IS OUT TO SCAM THE HOTTEST GIRLS

ON THE BEACH.

() SIREN (CHARLOTTE DURNELL)

A STRIKING SIX FOOT BLONDE FROM LIVERPOOL, ENGLAND, SIREN IS

AN ARTS MAJOR AT UCF IN ORLANDO. SIREN'S REAL NAME IS ERICA

JONES. UPON MEETING HER ON THE BEACH, WASHOUT GAVE HER THE

NAME AND, WANTING TO MEET TOBEY, SHE RELENTED.

PROGRAM OUTLINE

SIDE A

() DIALOGUE A: "ARRIVAL" (WASHOUT/ TOBEY)

() MONOLOGUE 1: "WASHED OUT" (WASHOUT)

() MONOLOGUE 2: "TOBEY'S TAKE" (TOBEY)

() DIALOGUE B: "CALL OF THE SIREN" (WASHOUT/ SIREN)

(S1) SECRET MONOLOGUE: "BOARDWALK ARCADE" (WASHOUT)

SIDE B

() DIALOGUE C: "BEACH HEADS" (WASHOUT/ TOBEY)

() MONOLOGUE 3: "KELPED TO BED" (WASHOUT)

() DIALOGUE D: "DRINKING GAMES" (WASHOUT/ SIREN)

() DIALOGUE E: "HOME WORK" (WASHOUT/ TOBEY)

(S2) SECRET MONOLOGUE: "DAYTONA" (CHARLOTTE DURNELL)

PG 01 DAYTONA

DIALOGUE A: "ARRIVAL"

(SOUND OF JEEP ENGINE, WAVES AND SEAGULLS IN BACKGROUND.

ENGINE SHUTS OFF. SOUND OF DOORS OPENING, SLAMMING SHUT.

SOUND OF SNEAKERS SCUFFLING IN SAND....)

WASHOUT:

"WHOAAAAAH DUDE, WE'RE HERE!!!!"

TOBEY:

"YEAH, FINALLY. COME ON WASHOUT, GET YOUR SMELLY SOCKS OUT OF MY JEEP!"

WASHOUT:

"TAKE A CHILL OR SIP A BREWSKY, TOBEY.....WE'RE AT DAYTONA BEACH!"

TOBEY:

"....AND I'M HAPPY MAN, REALLY I AM. IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU CAN TRASH MY RIDE AND WALK AWAY, YOU KNOW?!?! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, GUY!"

WASHOUT:

"YOU KNOW, DUDE, YOU NEED TO CHILL OUT... HAVE FUN! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A KNOB, YA KNOW.... MAYBE HERE YOU CAN FINALLY SOW THE OATS FOR ONCE...."

TOBEY: (ANNOYED)

"AT OLYMPUS I HAVE NO PROBLEM GETTING LAID, YOU SEEM TO BE THE ONE S.O.L. WITH THE LADIES ALL OF THE TIME....SO, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT YOURSELF FOR A CHANGE!"

WASHOUT:

"DUDE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE AT THAT FRATERNITY HOUSE OF YOURS TO HAVE FUN, YA KNOW? THIS IS THE ULTRA ALMIGHTY SPRING BREAK MECCA ZONE, DAYTONA!!!! LOOK AT ALL OF THE T&A AROUND HERE!"

TOBEY: (TAKES A DEEP BREATH AND EXHALES)

"YEAH GUY, MAYBE YOU HAVE A POINT... THIS TIME; JUST COME CLEAN OUT YOUR STUFF, OK?"

P02 DAYTONA

DIALOGUE A (CONTINUED)

WASHOUT:

"COOL BEANS.... I'M NOT A KNOB, YA KNOW?"

TOBEY:

"JUST A SLOB......(LAUGHS) RELAX, GUY, I'M KIDDING!"

WASHOUT: (DREAMILY)

"DAYTONA....."

(CUT TO OPENING TITLE SONG, "DAYTONA"; TRT 4:15 TRK 7)

(FADE IN PROLOGUE T+26 SECONDS INTO TRACK)

PROLOGUE:

SIREN:

"GEOMEDIA PRODUCTIONS PROUDLY PRESENTS...."

"A CASSETTE PROGRAM RELEASE BY OMEGA TEAM...."

"AES'S 34TH RELEASE...."

"D A Y T O N A !"

PG 03 DAYTONA

MONOLOGUE 1: "WASHED OUT"

(BG RATIO FX 75% MUSIC 25%)

WASHOUT:

"HEY DUDES AND BABES, WHAT'S GOIN' ON?!? IT IS I, WASHOUT, AND I'M HERE AT DAYTONA BEACH FOR SPRING BREAK. IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE WE LAST HUNG OUT, AND I'VE BEEN QUITE BUSY SCAMMIN' SINCE "WAVEFORM 3". TOBEY'S OFF SCAMMIN GIRLS FOR T-NITE.... HE'S MY ULTRA COOL BUD FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF SOUTH FLORIDA BACK IN TAMPA. TOBEY'S A MEMBER OF THE ALPHA BETA DELTA FRATERNITY, SO THAT QUALIFIES HIM AS A MAJOR PARTY ANIMAL, YA KNOW?!? SPRING BREAK'S GONNA ROCK! WE'RE ADRIFT IN AN OCEAN OF BABES, A SEA OF ENDLESS INFIDELITY AND ULTRA COOL PARTIES.....HEY, CHECK OUT THAT BABE OVER THERE....MONDO BREASTAGE, NICE ASSETTES.... YEAHAHAHAHA BRAH! I'M GONNA GET LUCKY T-NITE!!!!"

MONOLOGUE 2: "TOBEY'S TAKE"

(BG RATIO FX 25% MUSIC 75%)

TOBEY:

"HEY, WHAT'S UP? MY NAME'S TOBEY, WHAT'S YOURS? YEAH, THIS IS MY SECOND SPRING BREAK, AND THIS HI-8 CAMCORDER IS THE TOOL OF MY TRADE. I'M A MASS COM MAJOR AT USF IN TAMPA, FLORIDA. I BELONG TO THIS ENTERTAINMENT FRATERNITY, AND I'M SORT OF THEIR LIVING MASCOT. I'M HERE AT DAYTONA WITH MY YAHOO FRIEND, WASHOUT. THAT'S HIM, OVER THERE.... HE'S DROOLING OVER GIRLS THAT HE COULD NEVER SCORE WITH.... WELL, ON SECOND THOUGHT, HE'S SURPRISED ME BEFORE. ANYWAY GUY'S, I'VE BEEN USING THIS CAMERA TO PICK UP ON GIRLS, AND IT WORKS, MOST OF THE TIME. HERE, CHECK OUT SOME OF THE FOOTAGE I'VE TAKEN SO FAR...."

(DROP SAMPLE SEGMENT)

TOBEY:

"WELL, CATCH YOU LATER. I NEED TO GET SOME GIRLS LINED UP FOR OUR HOTEL PARTY TONIGHT, AND BRING BACK SOME DECENT FOOTAGE BACK TO OLYMPUS WHEN I GET BACK...."

PG 04 DAYTONA

DIALOGUE B:" CALL OF THE SIREN"

(BG RATIO FX 50% MUSIC 50%)

WASHOUT:

"HOW'S IT GOIN', BRAH?!? AS FOR ME, I'M HANGING OUT, SCOPING OUT THE BABES AND TRYING TO HOOK UP WITH A KILLER BASH T-NITE...."

SIREN:

"HI GUY, COOL BAGGIES!"

WASHOUT: (STARTLED)

"THANKS...A...BABE- BAGGIES?!?"

SIREN: (GIGGLES)

"YOUR SHORTS, SILLY... I'M INTO THEM."

WASHOUT:

"ULTRA COOL!!!!"

SIREN:

"HI, MY NAMES ERICA, AND YOU ARE...."

WASHOUT:

"OH, UH, SORRY BABE, MY NAME'S WASHOUT....."

SIREN:

"WASHOUT? WHAT A CURIOUS NAME- YOU DIDN'T WASH OUT OF SCHOOL BY ANY CHANCE, DID YOU?"

WASHOUT:

"WASHOUT'S MY BEACH NAME, BABE. BACK HOME IN CLEAR WA WA'S WHERE I HANG. MY BUDS AND I ALL HAVE ULTRA COOL BEACH NAME'S.... THERE'S SEAPONY, RIPTIDE, SAND DOLLAR, ORCA, MAKO, STINGRAY, PIPER, HAMMERHEAD, AND SQUIRT. THEN THERE'S TOBEY, BY BEST BUD WHO'S HERE WITH ME FOR SPRING BREAK, BUT HE DOESN'T HAVE A BEACH NAME."

SIREN:

"THAT'S KIND OF INTERESTING, WASHOUT. I WISH I HAD A BEACH NAME. IT WOULD BE COOL TO BE KNOWN AS SOMEONE ELSE OTHER THAN "ERICA JONES"....."

PG 05 DAYTONA

DIALOGUE B (CONTINUED)

WASHOUT:

"YAHAHAHA BABALINGA, I'LL GIVE YA ONE, SURFETTE!"

SIREN: (TAKEN ABACK BY HIS WEIRD BEHAVIOR)

"YOU, UM, AREN'T ON HARD DRUGS, ARE YOU, WASHOUT? SURFETTE?!?!"

WASHOUT:

"NO WAY, BABE, DRUGS ARE FOR KNOBS! IF YOU WANT A BEACH NAME, I'LL CALL YOU "SIREN"....YAHAHA BABE, SIREN'S BITCHIN!"

SIREN:

""SIREN", EH? YOU HAVE A FETISH FOR "HOMER'S ODYSSEY"? AM I A SIREN THAT LEADS YOUNG SAILORS TO THEIR DOOM?"

WASHOUT:

"HOMER'S ULTRA COOL, BABE- GREEK MYTHOLOGY'S SOMETHING THAT I'VE CONSUMED. 'SIDES, YOU'RE FINE ENOUGH FOR THE NAME, NUFF SAID...."

SIREN:

"OK, "SIREN" IT IS. SAY, WASHOUT, MAY I ASK YOU A QUESTION?"

WASHOUT:

"SURE SIREN, SHOOT...."

SIREN:

"WHO'S YOUR FRIEND OVER THERE- THE GUY VIDEOTAPING THAT GROUP OF GIRLS?"

WASHOUT:

"I ALREADY CLUED YOU, SIREN, THAT'S MY BUD TOBEY! HE'S WORKING ON A MONDO VIDEO PROJECT FOR HIS FRATERNITY."

SIREN:

"GEE, THAT'S FUNNY. SOMEONE TOLD ME THAT HE WAS A VIDEOGRAPHER FOR PLAYBOY."

WASHOUT:

"UH...I THINK HE'S DOING WORK FOR THEM, TOO......"

PG 06 DAYTONA

DIALOGUE B (CONTINUED)

SIREN:

"THAT'S COOL. SAY, YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO BE FREE TONIGHT, WOULD YOU?"

WASHOUT:

"MAYBE SIREN- WHAT'S UP?"

SIREN:

"WELL, MY FRIENDS AND I ARE HAVING A LUAU UP THE BEACH AROUND 9 O'CLOCK. IF YOU'D LIKE, YOU AND TOBEY COULD COME."

WASHOUT:

"SURE BABE, I'LL CHECK IT OUT, BUT TOBEY'S DOIN' HIS OWN THING...."

SIREN:

"IT WOULD REALLY MAKE OUR NIGHT IF TOBEY SHOWED UP AT OUR LUAU, AND I'D BE GRATEFUL IF YOU BOTH SHOWED. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DUMP YOUR FRIEND FOR THE BEST PARTY THAT YOU'VE EVER BEEN TO, ARE YOU?"

WASHOUT:

"HOW GRATEFUL?"

SIREN:

"YOU DO HAVE AN IMAGINATION, DON'T YOU? LET'S LEAVE IT AT THAT- HERE'S WHERE IT'S AT, LET ME WRITE IT DOWN. HERE, DON'T LOSE IT, OK? I'LL SEE YOU GUYS THERE....."

(DROP SIDE A OUTRO TRACK "DAYTONA" TRT 0:55 TRK 3)

PG 07 DAYTONA

DIALOGUE C: "BEACH HEADS"

(BG RATIO FX 25% MUSIC 75%)

(HOTEL ROOM AMBIANCE. TELEVISION CAN BE HEARD IN BACKGROUND)

TOBEY:

"IT'S BEEN ONE HELL OF A DAY, WASHOUT. HAVE YOU BEEN LINING UP THE LADIES?"

WASHOUT: (DISTRACTED)

"YEHAHA BRAH, THEY'RE EVERYWHERE! HAVE YOU SEEN MY PLAYSTATION?"

TOBEY:

"YOU MEAN MY PLAYSTATION? IT'S OVER THERE- NEXT TO THE T.V. . I ALREADY HOOKED IT UP."

WASHOUT:

"OH- COOL. WHERE ARE THE GAMES?"

TOBEY:

"OVER THERE....IN THAT SUITCASE. THE ONE WITH THE SHOT GLASSES AND DECK OF CARDS......HEY GUY, WHEN YOU'RE DONE RUMMAGING THROUGH THINGS, COME CHECK OUT THE FOOTAGE I GOT TODAY. MAN, THESE GIRLS WILL FALL FOR ANYTHING......."

WASHOUT:

"HAVE YOU BEEN SCAMMING THEM?"

TOBEY:

"HELL YA, GUY! CHECK OUT THESE TAKES...."

(SAMPLE DROP: GIRLS OF SPRING BREAK)

WASHOUT:

"BITCHIN!!!! HOW'D YOU GET THEM TO SHOW SKIN LIKE THAT? WHOAHAHAHAHAHA! THAT RED HEAD'S GOT MONDO BREASTAGE!!!!"

TOBEY:

"HEY MAN, TAKE A CHILL, DON'T STAIN YOUR THREADS, OK? CHECK THESE OUT....."

WASHOUT:

"COOL!!!!"

PG 08 DAYTONA

DIALOGUE C: (CONTINUED)

TOBEY:

"ONE OF OUR FRATERNITY BROTHERS HAD THESE FAKE CARDS PRINTED UP FOR ME. I PASS THESE PLAYBOY BUSINESS CARDS OUT TO THE LADIES, TALK THE TALK, FLASH AROUND MY HI-8, AND THEY THROW THEMSELVES AT ME..... WORKS EVERY TIME!"

WASHOUT:

"I MET THIS MONDO BLONDE BABE T-NITE, BRAH! SHE'S GOT BRONZE TONED ASSETTES, SHAPELY BREASTAGE, AND LEGS LIKE A BALLERINA BABE. SHE GAVE US THIS V.I.P. INVITE TO SOME KILLER BASH ON THE BEACH AT 9 SHARP....."

TOBEY:

"SO? WHAT'S THE DEAL?"

WASHOUT:

"BRAH, SHE THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE SHOOTING FOR PLAYBOY, TOO, AND WANTS US TO ATTEND....."

TOBEY:

"BIG DEAL, MAN. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY INVITES TO PRIVATE PARTIES THAT I'VE HAD TONIGHT? OVER 20. A GUY COULD GO CRAZY TRYING TO DECIDE. WHY DON'T YOU HOOK UP WITH THAT GIRL?"

WASHOUT: (TURNS ON THE PLAYSTATION)

"UH...OK, BRAH. JUST THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE TO HANG WITH US T-NITE..."

TOBEY:

"IT'S COOL, GUY. YOU WANT TO HELP ME PICK OUT THE GIRLS I'M GOING TO HOOK UP WITH FROM THE VIDEO?"

WASHOUT: (TUNED OUT)

"LATER BRAH. LATER."

PG 09 DAYTONA

MONOLOGUE 3: "KELPED TO BED"

(BG RATIO FX 75% MUSIC 25%)

(BACKGROUND WAVES AND SEAGULLS)

WASHOUT:

"DUDES, THIS BITES!!!!! I COULD JUST BLOW CHUNKS IN TOBEY'S MUG, YA KNOW? I DON'T BELIEVE MY BUD'S DOIN' ME LIKE THIS!

YA KNOW, I THINK I WILL HOOK IT UP WITH SIREN... GET HER WASTED... AND SCORE! TOBEY'S NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO'S GONNA RULE THIS BEACH T-NITE!"

DIALOGUE D: "DRINKING GAMES"

(BG RATIO FX 50% MUSIC 50% TO FX 75% MUSIC 25%)

(BACKGROUND WAVES)

SIREN: (LAUGHING WITH A SLUR)

"YOU KNOW, WASHOUT, YOU'RE A COOL GUY! NO, REALLY, I'M GLAD YOU SHOWED TONIGHT. YOU'RE A LOT MORE FUN THAN MOST GUYS ON THIS BEACH....."

WASHOUT:

"COOL, BABE, MONDO COOL. YOU WANT ANOTHER PINA COLODA?"

SIREN: (SOUND OF BOTTLE OPENING; SLURP)

"SURE...."

WASHOUT:

"YA KNOW SIREN, YOU'RE HOT....REALLY, REALLY HOT- I MEAN, ULTRA HOT! YOU'RE THE MOST RIGHTEOUS BABE ON DAYTONA BEACH!"

SIREN: (LAUGHS)

"YOU KNOW, YOU'RE SWEET...." (INHALES DEEPLY)

"GOD, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT. IN ORLANDO, ON MY CAMPUS AT UCF, YOU FORGET HOW MANY STARS THERE ARE IN THE SKY. OFTEN, YOU'LL FIND YOURSELF USING YOUR IMAGINATION TO FILL IN THE PARTS OF THE SKY OBSCURED BY THE LIGHTS AND THE BUILDINGS....OOOH, LOOK, THERE'S THE LITTLE DIPPER...."

WASHOUT:

"CHECK OUT THE MOON- IT'S MONDO BRIGHT!"

PG 10 DAYTONA

DIALOGUE D: (CONTINUED)

SIREN: (LAUGHS HARDER)

"THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S FULL, SILLY! I LIKE HOW THE MOONLIGHT DANCES ON THE WATER AS FAR AS YOU CAN SEE.....MAKING A RIPPLY TRAIL OF LIGHT. SEE IT FLOATING ON THE DARK WATER....YES, MOONLIGHT ON THE COLD, DARK SEA."

WASHOUT:

"YOUR POETRY'S ULTRA COOL, BABE, THAT'S DEEP!"

SIREN:

"HMMMMM..... I CAN GET DEEPER......."

WASHOUT:

"THINK OF ALL THE MONDO SHARKS OUT THERE RIGHT NOW.... BITCHIN!"

SIREN:

"OH, I DON'T KNOW... THERE MAY JUST BE A MANEATER CLOSER THAN YOU THINK- LIKE, ON THIS BEACH WITH YOU......"

WASHOUT: (SURPRISED)

"SAY WHAHAHAHAT?!?!"

SIREN:

"OH, COME ON, WASHOUT, GET CLOSER TO ME.... I WON'T BITE- THAT MUCH...."

WASHOUT: (NEAR PANIC)

"W-W-W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING, ERICA?!?!?"

SIREN: (GIGGLES)

"WHAT, NO "SIREN"? WHAT'S WRONG, YOU DON'T WANT ME TO SEDUCE YOU WITH MY SERENADE OF DEATH?"

WASHOUT: (PANICKED)

"YAYAYAHOHOOOO!"

SIREN:

"YOU'VE NEVER BEEN WITH A WOMAN BEFORE, HAVE YOU?"

PG 11 DAYTONA

DIALOGUE D: (CONTINUED)

WASHOUT:

"N-N-N-NO!"

SIREN:

"RELAX, BABY, I WON'T HURT YOU. I WANT YOU TO MAKE LOVE TO ME, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, STRAIGHT THROUGH UNTIL THE DAWN SUNLIGHT WASHES OVER US..... I WANT YOU....... PLEASE.... NOW!"

DIALOGUE E: "HOME WORK"

(BG RATIO FX 25% MUSIC 75%)

WASHOUT:

"TOBEEEEEEY, WHAT'S UP, BRAH?!?!"

TOBEY:

"NOT A WHOLE LOT, GUY. JEEZ, WHERE WERE YOU LAST NIGHT? GOD, YOU'RE FULL OF SAND......"

WASHOUT:

"YAHAHAHAHA BRAH, YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE- LAST NITE WOULD HAVE MADE A KILLER VIDEO! SIREN WAS ULTRA AWSOME...."

TOBEY:

"SIREN? WHO'S THAT?"

WASHOUT:

"THE BABE I HOOKED UP WITH, BRAH. REWIND!!!!"

TOBEY:

"YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. HEY GUY, MAKE SURE SEAPONY DOESN'T FIND OUT...."

WASHOUT:

"WHAT ABOUT SEAPONY, DUDE? SHE'S CLUELESS BOUT WHERE WE WENT... YAHAHA, SHE THINKS I'M AT MY UNCLES FOR SPRING BREAK, YA KNOW?"

TOBEY:

"YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S COOL, GUY, DON'T MESS THINGS UP WITH HER. SHE'S SMART, BEAUTIFUL, AND DOWN WITH YOU..."

PG 12 DAYTONA

WASHOUT:

"HOW'D YOUR BASHES GO?"

TOBEY:

"TOTAL DISASTER, GUY! THIS BLONDE DITZ DUMPED MY CAMERA IN A JACUZZI. LUCKILY, I HAD A NEW TAPE IN IT. IT'S NOT FUNCTIONAL NOW, GUY, BUT CHECK IT OUT.... THE GIRL'S WERE FEELING BAD ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED, AND MADE IT UP TO ME."

WASHOUT:

"ULTRA COOL, BRAH! SAY, WHY'S THE JEEP PACKED?"

TOBEY:

"OH, THAT'S THE OTHER THING I NEED TO TELL YOU ABOUT. THE REAL PLAYBOY CREW IS ON TO ME. WE NEED TO GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE BEFORE THEY FIND US. READY TO GO?"

WASHOUT: (SCREAMS)

"NAH, BRAH, I'M MEETING SIREN T-NITE FOR DINNER.....YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!!!!!!!"

TOBEY:

"HEY MAN, I'M SORRY, BUT THE CRUISE HOME TO CLEARWATER LEAVES IN FIVE MINUTES. I DON'T WANT TO SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF THAT FILM CREW FINDS US....."

WASHOUT: (ANGRY)

"WHAT A KNOB! I WON'T FORGET THIS, BRAH!!!!"

TOBEY:

"WE'RE OUTTA HERE, PEOPLE......"

PG 13 DAYTONA

PROGRAM SECRETS

SECRET MONOLOGUES

(S1) BOARDWALK ARCADE

(S2) DAYTONA COMMERCIAL

MOTHER:

"WHEN MY FAMILY WANTED A VACATION, AND OUR BUDGET WAS LIMITED, I CALLED AROUND AND CAME UP WITH THIS GREAT DEAL.

WE DECIDED TO TAKE OUR VACATION AT DAYTONA BEACH. NOW, WE'RE HERE ENJOYING BEAUTIFUL WEATHER, ENDLESS STRETCHES OF WHITE, SANDY BEACHES, AND WONDERFUL HOSPITALITY.

SO, WHILE YOUR KIDS ARE FIGHTING OVER A VIDEO GAME, MINE ARE BUILDING A SANDCASTLE. ENVIOUS? DON'T B..............."

(A HELICOPTER FLIES OVERHEAD AND HOVERS NEARBY. A VOICE BARKS FROM THE AIRCRAFT)

VOICE:

"ATTENTION: FORNIFICATION IS NOT ALLOWED ON THE BEACH... CEASE YOUR FORNICATING IMMEDIATELY.........."

MOTHER:

"..... OH, DEAR LORD, THERE'S A YOUNG COUPLE HAVING SEX ON THE BEACH!!!!! CHILDREN.... CHILDREN, COVER YOUR EYES!!!!!"

BOY:

"OH, COOL! THIS IS BETTER THAN THE MOVIES DAD WATCHES........"

VOICE:

"THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING. REFRAIN FROM FORNIFICATION IMMEDIATELY......"

MOTHER: (FREAKING OUT)

"CHILDREN.... I TOLD YOU TO COVER YOUR EYES! COME OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!!!!"

VOICE:

"STOP- OR WE'LL SHOOT!"

(SOUND OF GUN FIRE. PEOPLE SCREAMING) (FADE OUT)

PUBLISHED 05/19/10

UPDATED 05/19/10